It all started when I watched part of the show Jeremy Kyle. If you don't know who Jeremy Kyle is, he is a British version of Steve Willcos. Well, on Jeremy's show he had a women who said that she was going to leave her wife if she didn't lose weight. I pictured this super hot skinny woman coming out. Well, I was way off. This huge probably over 300 lb woman comes out...So I thought to myself, well this must be the lady who the other woman wants to lose weight. WRONG AGAIN....This was the lady who said she was going to leave her wife if she didn't lose the weight. So, another huge lady comes out. They look about the same size. But apparently, One woman is happy with her weight while the other one is not and it's starting to ruin their marriage. It gets into other issues after that, but it made me have a thought about me getting that big. Then I thought what would my children think of me? I can hardly keep up with them now...
Well later on, my husband and I go shopping at Sears. I was looking at the clothes and just could not find anything in my size and was too embarrassed to ask if they have a plus size section...I did find a few things to try on and went into the dressing room...and let me tell you...in my honest opinion, I did not like what I saw. When I was done I actually started getting teary eyed telling my husband I can't find anything to wear, I don't look good, I am too fat.
For the next few days it's been just feeling terrible about my appearance. Thinking everyone is laughing at the big cow passing by. So...What am I going to do about my situation? I don't fully know yet. Everything I say only lasts a day or two. I got a new system. We got the Kinect. I also got this country dance game to play with it and I've been doing a lot of country dancing..good work out.
I also took a nice walk today...yup...all the way to McDonald's. That might have defeated the purpose. But then I had to walk back and burn those calories I just ate. So, I'm going to need to work on my self esteem a little more. I thought I should just blog about my personal feelings. Each day I remember to eat healthy or work out, I'll try to remember to blog about it so I can hold myself accountable to what I say or think I'm going to do! Thanks for reading!!
